You’ve done your homework and picked the right online dating service. You chose a terrific photo for your profile. You’re sending out e-mails and participating in chats. Yet you still aren’t getting many e-mails or even responses from others, and the few you get are from people you aren’t even remotely interested in. What went wrong?
It’s a safe bet that your online profile is killing your chances. It’s surprising how many people answer the questionnaires thoughtfully, then rush through writing their profile just so they have something to post and can get started right away. Unfortunately, your written profile is the most important part of your introduction to other dating service members, so if you don’t give it some serious attention, you’re probably sending the wrong message.
Read as many interesting profiles as you can, then wait a few days before going back and reading your own again. Looking at it with fresh eyes may surprise you. Perhaps it’s boring or too generic, or maybe you’re projecting an overly sexual message you didn’t intend to, or maybe it’s filled with negativity. Analyze your profile honesty and look for these warning signs:
Boring Profile Information
Boring or generic personal ads won’t stand out from the crowd. There are thousands of other people who say they, “like going to the movies, eating out, and romantic evenings with someone special.” Who doesn’t like those things?
Focus instead on what makes you unique. Are you a history buff? Have you hiked the entire Appalachian Trail? What is it about you that others will read and say, “That’s really interesting!”
Misleading Profile Title
The first thing people read is your profile title. If it catches their interest for the wrong reasons, you aren’t doing yourself any favors. There’s a fine line between interesting and racy. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, a headline that shouts, “Try me on for size, it will be a night you won’t forget!” you’re likely to get more than a few e-mails from men looking for casual sex.
Being clever with your headline is fine – as long as you are still being honest about yourself and what you’re looking for.
Sloppy Profile
Don’t write your profile late at night and post it without proofreading it. It’s a good idea to have someone else look it over as well. Spelling mistakes, typos and poor grammar are huge turn-offs. They give others the impression that you aren’t very bright, are lacking in basic education or simply don’t care. If your profile is sloppy, many people will assume you’re sloppy as well.
Negative or Needy Profile
If you visit any online dating site, you’ll find those tell-tale profiles that reveal someone is simply not over their last bad relationship. There defensive, suspicious profile reads like a warning sign. Whatever you do, don’t mention your last relationship in an online profile! Your profile should be about you and your hopes for the future; it isn’t a place to dissect your last relationship.
Overused phrases that insulting as well as weird include, “No head games, please” or “Looking for Mr. Right After Ditching Mr. Wrong,” or, “Can you mend my broken heart?” People join dating services to find someone who is ready to move on. They don’t want to be your therapist or repair your shattered ego. Nasty comments about past relationships and warnings about how fragile you are will NOT get you the right kind of interest.
Making It All About You
Don’t write a long profile about yourself and then neglect to talk about what you’re looking for in a date. Mention some personality traits and interests you would like to share with someone. If you’re an avid antique lover, suggest that you would like to find someone to join you on weekend antiquing trips. Is sports your thing? Mention that you’re looking for someone to join you at the arena on occasion.
Now that you’ve re-written your dating profile, you should start getting some intriguing responses from people who will have something in common with you. So start writing those responses!
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